I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
