About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Randomize
