yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Randomize
