Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
