her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
