Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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