You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
