they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
he had hair everywhere except his balls
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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