So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
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