Don't make out with my wife yet
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
