Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Your shirt... Was in my pants
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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