I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
