Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Randomize
