I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Randomize
