Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Randomize
