I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
We need to rekindle our bromance
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
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