No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
