I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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