I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
