This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
