At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Fuck me I smell like cheese
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
