i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Randomize