I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
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