I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
