dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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