I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
