i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
