FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
