I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
