The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
