Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
