We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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