My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
This show inspires me to have sex in space
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
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