your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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