Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
