You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Every concussion has its silver lining
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
