oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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