I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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