are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Randomize
