Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
