I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
