U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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