i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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