The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
