u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
