We named our party play list daddy issues
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
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