I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
