I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
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