i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize