Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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