Taylor Swift is so right about you.
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
