Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
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