We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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