She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Randomize
