Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Randomize