shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Randomize
