I could have mohawked her pubes.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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