dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
try to milk me bitch
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