my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
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