he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize