you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
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