Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
