HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
i need some magic done to my vagina
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
