Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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