We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Randomize
