We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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