question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
I woke up under a house in Key West
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