he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
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